Saturday, June 2, 2012

Johan Who?

Something happened in baseball last night that none of us ever thought we'd live to see. It happened at Comerica Park in Detroit, in the game between the Yankees and the Tigers. Alex Rodriguez hit a home run, and Yankee broadcaster John Sterling did NOT act as though it were a 500-foot Mickey Mantle blast from the moment it left the bat. No, "And there it goes! Deep to left! It is high! It is far!... " Which, all too often, instead of "It is... gone!" leads to "It is... caught at the wall!" or "It is... a foul ball!" This time, he was genuinely surprised when it wasn't caught. A-Rod's homer came in the 8th, off former Met and (briefly) Yankee Octavio "Heartbreak" Dotel. But the big blast came in the 2nd, by Curtis Granderson, his 17th of the season, off Casey Crosby (0-1). CC Sabathia (7-2) pitched 7 strong, and then Joe Girardi played musical mounds again, with Cody Eppley not getting an out, Boone Logan getting one, Cory Wade two, Clay Rapada one, and Rafael Soriano getting 2 (7th save). Yankees 9, Tigers 4. The Yankees are now 1 game behind the Baltimore Orioles and Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Eastern Division -- even with those teams in the loss column. For some reason, nobody seems to be talking about that. Since the Yankees have played fewer games than the other teams in the AL East, they now have the highest elimination number of any team in the Division. For the Yankees, any combination of losses for them and wins by the first-place team -- any first-place team in the East -- adding up to 110, and they're out, of the Division race if not the expanded Wild Card race. The O's and Rays are at 109, the Boston Red Sox at 107, and the Toronto Blue Jays at 106. * The Yankees won last night. So did the Mets. You know what? They count the same. That's right: You don't get credit for more than one win if your pitcher throws a no-hitter. Especially when he allows a hit, as Johan Santana of the Mets did to former teammate Carlos Beltran, now with the St. Louis Cardinals, in the top of the 3rd at Citi Field. But the 3rd base umpire, Adrian Johnson, screwed up. And he knows he screwed up: Having seen the play on video after the game, he said, "No comment." Right now, baseball uses instant replay only for establishing whether a batted ball is a home run or not. They should use it on fair or foul balls, too: I know baseball games are too long now, but the replay wouldn't take any longer than the manager-umpire argument. Met fans are making SUCH a big deal about getting the franchise's first "no-hitter" in their 51st season, their 8,020th game. Sam Jones in 1923. Monte Pearson in 1938. Allie Reynolds in 1951 (twice). Don Larsen in 1956. Dwight Gooden in 1996. David Wells in 1998. David Cone in 1999. On each of those occasions of a Yankee pitcher throwing a no-hitter, the Yankees went on to win the World Series. Hell, Larsen's was IN the World Series. Santana has never helped a team win a World Series. You know who has? Phil Hughes, the guy we refused to trade to get Santana. And on none of those occasions -- well, from 1962 onward, anyway -- did Met fans go out of their way to congratulate the Yankee pitchers -- not even Gooden and Cone, who actually had been Mets. Nor did they congratulate Dave Righetti in 1983 or Jim Abbott in 1993, who pitched no-hitters for the Yankees without going on to reach the postseason in the season in question. Somebody I correspond with online told me, "Ah, come on, Mike, give the Mets a break. Give Johan and the Mets credit, it took them 50 years to do this. Fair is fair!" When did they ever give us a break? "Fair" is pointing out to the Flushing Heathen that WE won the 2000 World Series. At Shea. * Happy 40th Birthday to Raul Ibanez. Born in Manhattan, grew up in Miami. .284 lifetime batting average, 1.828 career hits, 261 home runs, OPS+ of 113, reached the postseason with the Seattle Mariners and Philadelphia Phillies, and it looks like it's going to happen againwith the Yankees. June 2, 1972, 40 years ago today: Raul Javier Ibanez is born in Manhattan, although he grew up in Miami. Why the Phillies didn't re-sign him, I can't figure out. Speaking of the Phillies, they now have former Yankee Jose Contreras -- except he's hurt, and they won't have him for the rest of the season. At age 40 (at least), his career could well be over. Career record 78-67, ERA 4.55, ERA+ 101, reached the postseason with the Yankees and Phillies and got a ring with the 2005 Chicago White Sox. * Only Martin Brodeur tending goal like he did a decade ago is keeping this Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals from being 3-0 to L.A. Come on you Reds!

Friday, June 1, 2012

How to Be a New York Fan in Washington - 2012 Edition

Over the course of the next 2 weeks, due to regular and Interleague scheduling, both the Yankees and the Mets will be going to the Nation's Capital to face the Washington Nationals -- the team that was the Montreal Expos from 1969 to 2004.

I like Washington, D.C., but it’s too bad I can’t do one of these as “How to Be a Met Fan In Montreal.” Instead, we’ll have to settle for the Nation’s Capital.

Well, maybe I can do a piece where I "find" a blog post I wrote in 2004 about traveling to Montreal. And advise you to ignore the fact that I didn't start writing this blog until 2007.

Before You Go. The Washington Post website is predicting rain for next week, during the Mets' visit. So there may be rain delays or rainouts. They are not yet forecasting for a week after the following weekend, when the Yankees visit. Washington can be pretty hot in June. Actually, it can get pretty hot pretty much anytime during baseball season. So while the Post isn't projecting temperatures any higher than the mid-70s for the Mets' visit, keep in mind that this could be an underestimation, and remember to stay hydrated.

Getting There. Getting to Washington is fairly easy. However, if you have a car, I recommend using it, and getting a hotel either downtown or inside the Capital Beltway, because driving in Washington is roughly (good choice of words there) as bad as driving in New York.

It’s 229 miles by road from Times Square to downtown Washington, 238 miles from Citi Field to Nationals Park, and 236 miles from Yankee Stadium to Nationals Park. If you’re not “doing the city,” but just going to the game, take the New Jersey Turnpike all the way down to the Delaware Memorial Bridge (a.k.a. the Twin Span), across the Delaware River into the State of, well, Delaware. This should take about 2 hours, not counting a rest stop.

Speaking of which, the temptation to take an alternate route (such as Exit 7A to I-195 to I-295 to the Ben Franklin Bridge) or a side trip (Exit 4, eventually leading to the Ben Franklin Bridge) to get into Pennsylvania and stop off at Pat’s Steaks in South Philly can be strong, but if you want to get from New York to Washington with making only one rest stop, you’re better off using the Delaware House Service Area in Christiana, between Exits 3 and 1 on the Delaware Turnpike. It’s almost exactly the halfway point between New York and Washington.

Once you get over the Twin Span – the New Jersey-bound span opened in 1951, the Delaware-bound one was added in 1968 – follow the signs carefully, as you’ll be faced with multiple ramp signs for Interstates 95, 295 and 495, as well as for US Routes 13 and 40 and State Route 9. You want I-95 South, and its signs will say “Delaware Turnpike” and “Baltimore.” You’ll pay tolls at both its eastern and western ends, and unless there’s a traffic jam, you should only be in Delaware for a maximum of 15 minutes before hitting the Maryland State Line.

At said State Line, I-95 changes from the Delaware Turnpike to the John F. Kennedy Memorial Highway, and you’ll be on it for about an hour (unless you want to make another rest stop, either the Chesapeake House or the Maryland House) and passing through Baltimore, before seeing signs for I-895 and the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel, Exit 62.

From here, you’ll pass through the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel. Take I-895 to Exit 4, and you’ll be on Maryland Route 295 South, the Baltimore-Washington Parkway. Crossing into the District of Columbia, M-295 will become the Anacostia Freeway. Take Exit 3B for South Capitol Street East, go over the Frederick Douglass Bridge over the Anacostia River, and you’ll be right there. (The official address is 1500 South Capital Street SE.) If all goes well (getting out of New York City and into downtown Baltimore okay, reasonable traffic, just the one rest stop, no trouble with your car), the whole trip should take about 4½ hours.

Washington is too close to fly, just as flying from New York (from JFK, LaGuardia or Newark) to Boston, Philadelphia and Baltimore, once you factor in fooling around with everything you gotta do at each airport, doesn’t really save you much time compared to driving, the bus or the train.

The train is a very good option, if you can afford it. Washington’s Union Station is at 50 Massachusetts Avenue NE, within sight of the Capitol Building. But Amtrak is expensive. They figure, "You hate to fly, you don't want to deal with airports, and Greyhound sucks, so we can charge whatever we want." New York to Washington will run you anywhere from $80 to $145 each way, depending on what time you go, and that’s before you add anything like Business Class or, God forbid, Amtrak’s overmicrowaved food. Still, it’s less than 3 hours if you take the Acela Express (formerly known as the Metroliner, this is the $145 option), and 3 hours and 15 minutes if you take a regular Northeast Corridor train.

When you get to Union Station, pick up copies of the Washington Post and the Baltimore Sun. The Post is a great paper with a very good sports section, and in just 6 seasons (now into a 7th) has covered the Nats very well, despite the 1972-2004 era when D.C. had no MLB team of its own. As a holdover from that era, it still covers the Orioles well. The Sun is only an okay paper, but its sports section is nearly as good as the Post's, and their coverage of their town's hometown baseball team rivals that of any paper in the country -- including the great coverage that The New York Times and Daily News give to the Yankees and Mets.

Do not buy The Washington Times. It was founded by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon in 1982 as a replacement for the bankrupt Washington Star as the area’s conservative equivalent to the “liberal” Post. (That’s a laugh: The Post has George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Jim Glassman and Bill Kristol as columnists!) Under editor-in-chief Wesley Pruden, the Times was viciously right-wing, “reporting” every rumor about Democrats as if they were established, proven fact, and giving Republicans a free pass. Moon’s “Unification Church” sold the paper in 2009, and Pruden retired the year before. But it has cut about 40 percent of its employees, and has dropped not only its Sunday edition but also its sports section. And now, there’s another paper, the Washington Examiner, owned by the same company as the conservative magazine The Weekly Standard, and it is so far to the right it makes The Washington Times look like the Daily Kos. It is a truly loony publication, where Michael Barone of the American Enterprise Institute and Byron York of National Review are considered moderates.

So avoid the loonies and the Moonies, and stick with the Post. Even if you don’t agree with my politics, you’re going down to D.C. for baseball, and the Post’s sports section kicks ass.

If you don’t want to spend all that money on Amtrak, could you take the bus? Greyhound is much cheaper, $64 round-trip from New York to Washington. But, in this case, you really get what you pay for. While Union Station is a magnificent Beaux-Arts structure that is fit for a major world capitol, the Washington terminal for Greyhound is considerably less than that. It’s a glass and steel box: The 1960s were a great decade for lots of things, but architecture was not one of them. It’s too small: It’s roughly the same size as the one in Richmond, Virginia (a city half the size) and the one in Atlantic City (even with tourists it’s probably got fewer people than D.C.). The location stinks, almost literally: It’s at 1005 1st Street NE, in the middle of a ghetto, and while it’s just 6 blocks to Union Station (easily the closest Metro stop), none of those six is a block you’re going to want to walk. Want a taxi from there? Good luck. And getting back, the lines will be ridiculous: Whichever bus you were planning on riding back to New York, presume they’ll run out of room and make you wait for the next one.

At least they've cleaned the terminal up considerably in the last couple of years. Still, forget the bus: Leave the driving to a friend, or to Amtrak.

Washington’s subway, the Metro, was not in place until 1976, far too late to help either the “Old Senators” at Griffith Stadium or the “New Senators” at RFK Stadium (though both locations are now accessible via Metro), but it works just fine for Nats games. Take the Red Line from Union Station to Gallery Place, and transfer to the Green Line to Navy Yard station. (Those of you who watch the TV show NCIS will recognize the Washington Navy Yard as home base for Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Co. Rule Number 14: Never go anywhere without a FareCard.) Since this week’s games will take place on weeknights, and you’ll be arriving during rush hour, it’ll be $2.15 on your FareCard, but $1.60 on your way back.

Coming out of the Navy Yard station, you’ll be at M Street and New Jersey Avenue SE. Turn right on M, and walk past 1st Street and Cushing Place to Half Street. Yes, between Capitol Street (in effect, the city’s north-south “zero line”) and First Street is “Half Street.” Make a left on Half Street, and in one more block, there is Nationals Park. From Union Station to the ballpark, via subway and then foot, should take 25-30 minutes, about as fast as it does to get from Midtown Manhattan to Yankee Stadium and slightly less than to get to Citi Field.

Tickets. From their 2005 arrival through the end of last season, the Nats were terrible. But now, they're in first place in the National League East -- no Washington baseball team has been in first place this late in the season since World War II. Last season, a losing one, they averaged 24,256 fans per home game. This season, so far, it's 27,331, a 13 percent increase. Better than most of their seasons in Montreal, though 14,000 or so short of a sellout at Nationals Park (officially, capacity 41,487). So getting tickets shouldn't be a big problem, but a lot of New Yorkers & New Jerseyans may have the same idea as you – and many of them are federal government employees or college students already living and working in the D.C. area. So, for games against the Mets, and maybe also the Phillies, getting tickets might be harder than for any other Nats games. (In fact, the transient nature of the federal government was a big reason the Senators never made it: People came in from places that had teams, and rooted for them, not the Senators; only went to Griffith Stadium and its successor RFK Stadium to see their hometown teams; and rarely went back home having been converted to Senators fans. The Nats seem to have the same problem, and we don’t yet know if winning will cure it.)

Field Level seats will run you from $50 to $100, but in the Mezzanine Level, you can see a game for $43. In the third deck, the Terrace Level and the Gallery Level, tickets run from $38 all the way down to $15.

Going In. You're likely to walk in at the center field gate, at N & Half Streets. There, you will see three statues: Walter Johnson, “the Big Train,” the great pitcher for the “Old Senators” from 1907 to 1927, the game’s former all-time strikeout leader with 3,508 and still its all-time shutout leader with 113; Josh Gibson, the catcher for the D.C.-based Homestead Grays of the Negro Leagues, the man so powerful he was known as “the Black Babe Ruth” – although some black fans suggested that Ruth be called “the White Josh Gibson” – and Frank Howard, the slugger for the “New Senators” known as “Hondo,” “the Monster” (he was 6-foot-7 and 280 pounds in his prime, and was also played basketball at Ohio State and was drafted by the NBA’s Philadelphia Warriors) and, due to D.C.’s status, “the Capital Punisher.” You might remember Howard as a coach for both New York teams and, briefly in 1983, the Mets’ manager immediately before Davey Johnson came in and turned the franchise around. Now 75, Howard works for the Yankees as a player development instructor.

You might also notice the Racing Presidents, four men dressed as the Presidents whose faces are on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. When I visited on July 26, 2009 (a 3-2 Nats win over the San Diego Padres in 10 innings), the huge-headed Presidents were dancing outside the gate, while “oldies” played over the stadium loudspeakers.

This was bad enough, until “Billie Jean” was played – this was within days of the death of Michael Jackson – and, cue The Awkward Moment, the guy dressed as Jefferson danced right into my line of sight as soon as Jacko got to the words, “The kid is not my son!” I also noticed that the costumes, all four of them, were filthy. Doesn’t the club wash them?

When the location for Nationals Park was chosen, the idea was to have a view of the Capitol dome and the Washington Monument. Unfortunately, they can only be seen from the first base/right field half of the stadium. But in the outfield, they planted another Washington trademark: Cherry blossom trees. That’s nice, but by late April, the blossoms are already gone.

Food. Very good. Not only do they serve good hot dogs and other standard ballpark fare, but “Frozen Rope” (Section 135) serves good ice cream, and they also have that “futuristic” ice cream known as Dippin’ Dots. The Red Loft Bar, in the second deck in left field, is their version of a McFadden’s. They serve pretzels in the shape of the script "W" logo that they inherited from the "New Senators."

And the Nats do not have to look up I-95 at Boog’s Barbecue in Baltimore, Bull’s Barbecue in Philly, Brother Jimmy’s at Yankee Stadium or Blue Smoke at Citi Field, and feel any envy. In the right field corner is Teddy’s Barbecue, named for Theodore Roosevelt. I kid you not: They serve the best piece of ballpark food I have ever eaten, a big hunk of meat named “the Rough Rider” in honor of TR. Eating that gave me more pleasure than any ballpark experience this side of the Aaron Boone homer. It’s $12, but it will be worth every flick of the tongue.

Team History Displays. The “old” Washington Senators played from 1901 to 1960, and moved to become the Minnesota Twins. The “new” Senators played from 1961 to 1971, and moved to become the Texas Rangers. The Nationals have history, but it’s nearly all in Montreal.

Nevertheless, there is a tribute, not just to the history of Washington baseball but to all of Washington sports. The Washington Hall of Stars, originally in place at RFK Stadium, has been recreated at Nationals Park. It honors lots of Redskins, from Sammy Baugh in the 1930s to Art Monk and Darrell Green in the 1990s. It honors Abe Pollin, who moved the NBA’s Bullets from Baltimore and made them the Washington Wizards, founded the NHL’s Washington Capitals, and for these teams built both the Capital Centre in suburban Landover and the Verizon Center in downtown D.C. It honors legendary Boston Celtics coach (and Brooklyn native) Red Auerbach for being a star player at George Washington University and the coach of D.C.’s first NBA team, the Washington Capitols, who made the 1949 NBA Finals. It honors boxer Sugar Ray Leonard for having grown up in nearby Silver Spring, and Olympic Gold Medalist swimmer Melissa Belote. It honors legendary sportswriters Shirley Povich of the Post (father of journalist Maury Povich) and Morris “Mo” Siegel of the long-gone Washington Star.

The baseball figures it honors are:

* “Old Senators”: Clark Griffith, Walter Johnson, Bucky Harris, Joe Cronin, Goose Goslin, Joe Judge, Ossie Bluege, George Case, Cecil Travis, Early Wynn, Eddie Yost, Mickey Vernon (who also managed the new Senators), Roy Sievers, Harmon Killebrew.

* “New Senators”: Gil Hodges (he managed them between retiring as a Dodger and Met player and becoming Met manager), Frank Howard, Chuck Hinton and George Selkirk (the former Yankee outfielder had been general manager of the new Senators).

* Homestead Grays: Josh Gibson and Buck Leonard.

The Expos retired Number 8 for Gary Carter, Number 10 for both Rusty Staub and Andre Dawson, and Number 30 for Tim Raines. All of these numbers were returned to circulation after the move, and, except for the Number 42 retired for all of baseball for Jackie Robinson, the Nats have no retired numbers. Nor do they yet have any Hall-of-Famers of their own, unless you want to count their first manager, Frank Robinson, who was already in the Hall of Fame for 23 years when the team arrived in D.C. And, unlike the Mets, who retired 37 for Casey Stengel even though he won nothing for them – far too close to being literally true – the Nats have not retired Robinson’s 20.

Stuff. There’s a team store called Rushmore’s in the left-field corner. It’s got loads of jerseys, T-shirts, caps, and stuffed toys such as the Racing Presidents and Screech the Eagle.

Looking for team DVDs? You’re out of luck: All they had on my 2009 visit was a commemoration of their first season back in Washington, 2005. They can’t even sell official World Series highlight films, like the Mets’ package of the 1969 and 1986 films, because the only Senators’ World Series, in 1924 (won), ’25 (lost) and ’33 (lost), came before MLB started making official highlight films in 1943. The Nationals franchise never made it to a World Series in Montreal, and they’ve never yet had a winning season in Washington. So there’s nothing celebrating anything like that, because, so far, there's nothing like that. If you’ll forgive the near-Yogiism.

During the Game. You do not need to fear wearing your Yankee or Met gear to Nationals Park. Despite the boisterousness of Washington fans when they watch their NFL Redskins, there’s a far more relaxed atmosphere at Nats games.

That could, of course, be due to the fact that you have to be over 70 to remember when a Washington baseball team was in a Pennant race. Just as George Washington was said to be “First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen,” Washington the city was long said to be "First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League." The old Senators finished 1 game behind the Detroit Tigers in 1945, and that was basically their only Pennant race after 1933. The new Senators had just 1 winning season, a 4th-place finish in 1969. That being the Vietnam War era, it was said that Washington was now “Last in war, last in peace, and last in the American League.

It remains to be seen what Washington fans will do when passion for a winning baseball team is unleashed over the course of a full season -- let's wait until this year's All-Star Break before we start considering the '12 Nats to be "for real" -- but you still probably wouldn’t have to worry about your safety. When the Redskins were winning, their fans were really loud, but they didn’t really give anybody outside of Dallas Cowboys fans a hard time, unless provoked (and New York Giants and Philadelphia Eagles fans, a short trip down I-95 or Amtrak, have been known to do that). Nor do the current, Alexander Ovechkin-led, Washington Capitals generate much ire: Their fans don’t much like the Philadelphia Flyers and Pittsburgh Penguins, but, as their 2011 and '12 Playoff series with the Rangers proved, they generally leave fans of the 3 New York Tri-State Area teams alone.

The Nats have a fight song, “Welcome Home to the Nationals.” It’s not exactly as stirring as “Hail to the Redskins,” or even “Meet the Mets.” They do the 7th Inning Stretch a little differently, playing a song before "Take Me Out to the Ballgame": The Isley Brothers' version of "Shout!" ("We-e-e-e-e-e-ell... you know you make me wanna... " As opposed to another song the Isleys introduced, "Twist and Shout.") And in the middle of the 8th inning, like the Red Sox, they play "Sweet Caroline."

They don’t have a postgame victory song, but at least they don’t do “Cotton Eye Joe” like the Yankees and Phillies or “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” like the Orioles.

The Nats have a mascot named Screech, a bald eagle. Sounds natural enough. They also have the Presidents Race. In a takeoff of the Milwaukee Brewers’ Sausage Race, in the middle of the 4th inning, the four guys wearing the Mount Rushmore President costumes, with the huge foam caricature heads, break out of a gate in center field, run to the right field corner, and down the first-base line, where the first to break the tape is the winner. Over their period costumes, they wear Nats jerseys: GEORGE 1, TOM 3, ABE 16 and TEDDY 26, for their places in the chronological order of Presidents. Screech is the referee, in case anybody tries any funny business.

Which leads to, literally, a running gag: Teddy never wins. Sometimes he leads and trips. Sometimes, like the minor-league mascots who race kids around the bases, he gets distracted, for example when players from the opposing Atlanta Braves caught his attention in the first game at Nationals Park in April 2008. Sometimes he gets sabotaged, as in June 2008, when, in an Interleague game with the nearby Orioles, the visiting Baltimore Bird tripped him just short of the finish line. (In a special grudge-match race the next day, Teddy outraced the Bird, but it was announced that this wouldn't count in the victory totals). Sometimes he just plain screws up: At the final game at RFK Stadium in 2007, a lot of people figured he’d finally be allowed to win, and the other 3 stayed back to “throw” the race, but Teddy went to the nearly-finished Nationals Park instead.

And sometimes... he cheats. (No doubt the real TR would have been appalled at all of this, but especially at the cheating.) When I went, Teddy got on a motorized scooter (leading me to yell, “Holy cow!” in memory of Phil "the Scooter" Rizzuto), and won the race that way. Naturally, “Honest Abe,” who finished 2nd, complained to Screech, who declared Abe the winner by default.

As of this writing, June 1, 2012, the standings for the 2012 season are as follows: George has won 11 races, Tom 8, Abe 5, and Teddy none. Overall, according to LetTeddyWin.com, Abe has won 190 races, George won 143, Tom 140, and Teddy none. Even Jayson Werth has been credited with 2 wins -- funny, I don't recall Werth ever having served as President.

After the Game. If you’re looking for a postgame meal (or even just a pint), you’re probably not going to find it. Although there are condos going up adjacent to the stadium, it’s not exactly a neighborhood hopping with nightlife. If you’re only down for the one game, the best thing to do is get back to Union Station, grab a bite there, and hop on your train; or, if you’re driving, just hit one of the rest areas on the way back up I-95.

If you’re staying for the whole series, your best bet may be to head downtown, near the Verizon Center (home of the Wizards and Capitals) at 6th & F Streets NW, on the edge of Chinatown. You’ll find a lot of good (and maybe one or two great) nightspots there. I recommend Fado, an Irish-pub-themed place nearby, at 808 7th Street NW. (One of several around the country, including the Philadelphia one I’ve also been to; they’re the same company as Tigin, which has outlets at JFK Airport and Stamford, Connecticut.)

If you came to Washington by Amtrak, and you're not spending the night, you’ve got a problem: The last train of the night leaves Union Station at 10:00 PM (and arrives at New York's Penn Station at 1:50 AM), and since MLB games tend to last around 3 hours, you’re not going to make it unless it’s a pitcher’s duel. The next train leaves at 3:15 AM (arriving in New York at 6:40 AM), but do you really want to be in downtown D.C. from 10 at night to 3 in the morning? Better to go for a weekend series, to come down on Friday afternoon or early on a Saturday, get a hotel, enjoy the sights on Saturday afternoon, see the game on Saturday night, and then on Sunday, choose between going to a second game and seeing something away from downtown. You'll be glad you did.

Sidelights. There aren’t a whole lot of sites in the District related to baseball other than Nationals Park itself. The Ellipse, just south of the White House on the National Mall, has baseball fields. (If you’ve ever seen the original 1951 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still, that’s where Klaatu’s ship landed.)

* Griffith Stadium. There were 2 ballparks on this site, one built in 1892 and one in 1911, after the predecessor burned down – almost exactly the same story as New York’s Polo Grounds. The second one, originally called League Park and Nationals Park before former pitching star Clark Griffith bought the team, was home to the old Senators from 1911 to 1960, and the new Senators only in 1961. The Redskins played there from 1937 to 1960, and won the NFL Championship there in 1937 and 1942, although only the ’42 title game was played there. There was another NFL title game played there, in 1940, but the Redskins were beaten by the Chicago Bears – 73-0. (Nope, that’s not a typo: Seventy-three to nothing. Most points by one team in one game in NFL history, slightly ahead of the ‘Skins’ 72-49 victory over the Giants at RFK in 1966.)

While the Senators did win 3 Pennants and the 1924 World Series while playing at Griffith, it was not a good home for them. The fences were too far back for almost anyone to homer there, and they hardly ever had the pitching, either (except for Walter Johnson). In 1953, the Yankees opened the season there, and Mickey Mantle hit a home run that was measured at 565 feet – though it probably shouldn’t count as such, because witnesses said it glanced off the football scoreboard at the back of the left-field bleachers, which would still give the shot a distance of about 460 feet. The Negro Leagues’ Homestead Grays also played a lot of home games at Griffith, although they divided their "home games" between Washington and Pittsburgh -- "Homestead" is a town outside Pittsburgh. Think of the Grays as the original Harlem Globetrotters, who called themselves "Harlem" to identify themselves as a black team even though their original home base was Chicago (and later moved their offices to Los Angeles, and are now based in Phoenix).

By the time Clark Griffith died in 1955, passing the team to his son Calvin, the area around Griffith Stadium had become nearly all-black. While Clark, despite having grown up in segregated Missouri during the 19th Century, followed Branch Rickey's path and integrated his team sooner than most (in particular going for Cubans, white and black alike), Calvin was a bigot who wanted to move the team to mostly-white Minnesota. When the new stadium was built, it was too late to save the original team, and the “New Senators” were born. Griffith Stadium was demolished in 1965, and Howard University Hospital is there now. Florida & Georgia Avenues NW. Green Line to Shaw-Howard University Station.

* Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium. Originally named District of Columbia Stadium (or “D.C. Stadium”), the Redskins played there first, from 1961 to 1996. The new Senators opened there in 1962, and President John F. Kennedy threw out the first ball at the stadium that would be renamed for his brother Bobby in 1969. (There was a JFK Stadium in Philadelphia, formerly Municipal Stadium, where the new arena, the Wells Fargo Center, now stands.)

The new Senators played at RFK Stadium until 1971, and at the last game, against the Yankees, the Senators were up 7-5 with one out to go, when angry fans stormed the field, and the game was forfeited to the Yankees. The ‘Skins moved to their new suburban stadium in 1997, after closing the '96 campaign without the Playoffs, but with a thrashing of the hated Cowboys in front of over 100 Redskin greats.

The Nats played the 2005, ’06 and ’07 seasons at RFK. D.C. United, the most successful franchise in Major League Soccer (although they’re lousy at the moment), have played there since MLS was founded in 1996, winning the league title, the MLS Cup, 4 times, including 3 of the first 4. Previously, in the North American Soccer League, RFK was home to the Washington Diplomats, featuring Dutch legend Johan Cruyff. And the Beatles played there on their final tour, on August 15, 1966.

It was the first U.S. stadium specifically designed to host both baseball and football, and anything else willing to pay the rent. But I forgive it. It was a great football stadium, and it’s not a bad soccer stadium, but for baseball, let’s just say Nationals Park is a huge improvement. And what is with that whacked-out roof? With the Nats and ‘Skins gone, United are the only team still playing there, and plans for a new stadium for them are on hold, so it will still be possible to see a sporting event at RFK Stadium for the next few years. 2400 East Capitol Street SE. Orange Line or Blue Line to Stadium-Armory. (The D.C. Armory, headquarters of the District of Columbia National Guard, is that big brown arena-like thing across the parking lot.)

* Uline Arena/Washington Coliseum. This building was home to the District’s first NBA team, the Washington Capitols, from 1946 to 1951. They reached the 1949 NBA Finals, losing to the Minneapolis Lakers of George Mikan, and were the first pro team coached by Red Auerbach. Firing him was perhaps the dumbest coaching change in NBA history: By the time Red coached the Boston Celtics to their first NBA title in 1957, the Capitols had been out of business for 6 years.

The Coliseum was last used for sports in 1970 by the Washington Caps (not "Capitols," not "Capitals," just "Caps")of the ABA. It was the site of the first Beatles concert in the U.S. (aside from their appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show 2 nights before), on February 11, 1964. It still stands, and its interior and grounds are used as a parking lot, particularly for people using nearby Union Station and the Greyhound Terminal. Unfortunately, it’s in a rotten neighborhood, and I wouldn’t recommend visiting at night. In fact, unless you’re a student of NBA history or a Beatlemaniac, I’d say don’t go at all. 1140 3rd Street NE, at M Street. Red Line to Union Station, and then it’s a bit of a walk.

* Capital Centre. From 1973 to 1997, this was the home of the NBA’s Washington Bullets, who became the Wizards when they moved downtown. From 1974 to 1997, it was the home of the NHL's Washington Capitals. The Bullets played in the 1975, ’78 and ’79 NBA Finals there, although they’ve only won in 1978 and clinched that at the Seattle Kingdome. The Cap Centre was also the home for Georgetown University basketball, in its glory years of Coach John Thompson (father of the current coach, John Thompson III), Patrick Ewing, Alonzo Mourning, Dikembe Mutombo and Allen Iverson. Remember those 1980s battles with the St. John’s teams of Louie Carnesecca, Chris Mullin and Walter Berry?

Elvis Presley sang there on June 27, 1976 and on May 22 and 29, 1977. (He never performed in the District.) It was demolished in 2002, and a shopping mall, The Boulevard at the Capital Centre, was built on the site. 1 Harry S Truman Drive, Landover, Prince George’s County, Maryland, just outside the Capital Beltway. Blue Line to Largo Town Center station.

* Verizon Center. Opened in 1997 as the MCI Center, the NBA’s Wizards, the NHL’s Capitals, the WNBA's Washington Mystics, and the Georgetown basketball team have played here ever since. Only one Finals has been held here, the Caps’ 1998 sweep at the hands of the Detroit Red Wings. (Georgetown has reached a Final Four since it opened, but those are held at neutral sites.) But it’s a very good arena. 601 F Street NW, at 6th Street. Red, Green or Yellow Line to Gallery Place-Chinatown Station.

* FedEx Field. Originally known as Jack Kent Cooke Stadium, for the Redskins owner who built it and died just before its opening, it has been the home of the Redskins since 1997. RFK Stadium has just 56,000 seats and was the NFL’s smallest facility for years, but with close seats even in the upper deck, it provided one hell of a home field advantage. In contrast, FedEx seats 91,704, the largest seating capacity in the NFL (the arch-rival Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium can fit in 110,000 with standing room but has “only” 80,000 seats), but the seats are so far back, it kills the atmosphere. Being out in the suburbs instead of in a hard part of the District doesn’t exactly intimidate the opposition, either. (Think if the New Jersey Devils had been an old team, starting out in an old arena tucked away in a neighborhood in Newark, and then moved to the spartan parking lot of the Meadowlands, and were still there, rather than going back to Newark into the Prudential Center.)

As a result, the Redskins went from 5 Super Bowl appearances, winning 3, while playing at RFK to just 2 Playoff berths and no visits to the NFC Championship Game since moving to FedEx. 1600 FedEx Way, Landover, practically right across the Beltway from the site of the Cap Centre, although you’d have to walk from there after taking the Blue Line to Largo Town Center in order to reach it without a car.

* The Smithsonian Institution. Includes the National Museum of American History, which contains several sports-themed items. 1400 Constitution Avenue NW. Blue or Orange Line to Federal Triangle. (You could, of course, take the same lines to Smithsonian Station, but Fed Triangle is actually a shorter walk.)

In addition, the University of Maryland, inside the Beltway at College Park, can be accessed by the Green Line to College Park and then a shuttle bus. (I tried that for the 2009 Rutgers-Maryland game and it works very well.) Byrd Stadium is one of the nation’s best college football stadiums, but I wouldn’t recommend sitting in the upper deck if you’re afraid of heights: I think it’s higher than Shea’s was. Across from the stadium is Cole Field House, where UMd played its basketball games from 1955 to 2002. The 1966 and 1970 NCAA Championship basketball games were played there, the 1966 one being significant because Texas Western (now Texas-El Paso) played an all-black starting five against Kentucky’s all-white starters (including future Laker, Knick and Heat coach Pat Riley and Denver Nuggets star Dan Issel). Elvis sang there on September 27 and 28, 1974. The Terrapins won the National Championship in their final season at Cole, and moved to the adjacent Comcast Center thereafter.

Remember that Final Four run by George Mason University? They’re across the Potomac River in Fairfax, Virginia. Orange Line to Virginia Square-GMU.

I also recommend visiting the capital’s museums, including the Smithsonian complex, whose most popular buildings are the National Archives, hosting the originals of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution; and the National Air and Space Museum, which includes the Wright Brothers’ Flyer, Charles Lindbergh’s Spirit of St. Louis, Chuck Yeager’s Glamorous Glennis (first plane to break the sound barrier), and several space capsules including Apollo 11. The Smithsonian also has an annex at Dulles International Airport out in Virginia, including the Enola Gay (the plane that dropped the first atomic bomb), a Concorde, and the space shuttle Discovery.

Have fun in the Nation’s Capital. And if Teddy wins, that’s okay. If the Nats win, well, maybe not. After all, it’s the Mets who trade in “miracles,” and the Yankees who deal in “destiny.”

I Was Wrong About Peter DeBoer

Me, July 20, 2011:

*

Finally, the New Jersey Devils have a new head coach.

It's not the old, old coach, Jacques Lemaire. Nor is it another old coach, Larry Robinson. Or a recent old coach, John MacLean. It's... Peter DeBoer. WHO? At the risk of this turning into an Abbot & Costello routine, here goes: Peter DeBoer is 43 years old, and a native of Windsor, Ontario. He was a center who played 7 seasons in the minor leagues, never reaching the NHL. From 1995 to 2008, he coached in the minors, winning 5 Division titles and the 2003 Memorial Cup -- of course, that was in the system of his "hometown" team, the Detroit Red Wings. His one previous helm of an NHL team, the Florida Panthers, ran the past 3 seasons, 2008-09, 2009-10 and 2010-11 -- and they did not make the Playoffs.

Not enough money? Bullshit. There's a salary cap now, the South Florida metropolitan area has 5.5 million people -- 10th-largest market in the NHL, 8th if you combine 3-team New York and 2-team Los Angeles into 1 each -- and with all the opportunities for merchandising and promotion, there's no such thing as a "small market" anymore; only management with small imagination.

For a moment, I thought Devils general manager Lou Lamoriello had hired one of the DeBoer twins, who had starred for the great Amsterdam-based soccer team Ajax in the 1990s. Frank de Boer is now Ajax's manager, having just led them to their country's league championship, and his brother Ronald has also retired as an active player. Both were better players in their sport than Peter DeBoer is in his, and Frank is already, by far, the more accomplished head coach.

Peter DeBoer? Seriously? Is this the best guy Lou Lam could get? Or was he the best guy that the notoriously cheap Lou was willing to pay for? Either way, Lou needs to have a visit from Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS, and get slapped on the back of his big bald head.

This is a major league bonehead hire, and all the good done in the last 2/3 of the 2010-11 season is going to evaporate.

If I turn out to be wrong, feel free to remind me. I will gladly eat that crow and humble pie, if I can wash it down with champagne from the Stanley Cup.

*

My mother taught me never to talk with my mouth full, but she never said anything about typing with it full. At this moment, I am eating my words, crow, and humble pie.

DeBoer has gotten the Devils into the Stanley Cup Finals in his first year as boss. He has beaten the Rangers in the Playoffs -- something the Devils have only done once before. He has beaten the Flyers in the Playoffs -- something the Devils have done twice before, but always good to do again. He has beaten both of the teams we truly hate, which the Devils have never done before.

He has done it with a group of players that has been forged into a genuine team. Great players? Sure: Martin Brodeur is going to the Hall of Fame, Ilya Kovalchuk and Zach Parise probably are, and others, such as Patrik Elias, could make it. But injuries and slumps have meant that some of these players couldn't be counted on. And yet, DeBoer got others to step up when the big men couldn't.

David Clarkson, Stephen Gionta, Anton Volchenkov, Marek Zidlicky, Dainius Zubrus, Bryce Salvador, Steve Bernier, Ryan Carter, Alexei Ponikarovsky and especially Adam Henrique have really come on this season.

A true team effort.

Coach DeBoer, I did not believe in you. For that, I apologize. Your players have believed in you, and for that, they need to apologize to no one.

Drop 2 of 3 in Anaheim? Punishment: Go to Detroit

Got some catching up to do. As do the Yankees. They dropped the first 2 of their series in Anaheim, and, as punishment, now they have to go to Detroit.

On Tuesday night, they got 9 hits against the Whatever They're Calling Themselves This Season Angels of Anaheim, but just 1 run in support of Andy Pettitte -- who, I must admit, had his worst start in 2 years (2-2 -- Okay, he didn't start at all last year, but before that hadn't had a bad start in the 2nd half of 2010). Dan Haren (3-5) just plain handcuffed the Yanks, holding them to a 5-1 loss.

Strange: With Mickey Hatcher as their hitting instructor, Albert Pujols went a month into the season with no home runs. With Hatcher fired, he now has 8. Why would Albert Pujols need a hitting instructor?

Wednesday's game looked like it might not be much better. Ivan Nova did not have good stuff, but unlike Pettitte he got run support. The Yanks scored 5 runs in the 3rd inning, thanks to home runs by Curtis Granderson (his 16th of the season) and Robinson Cano (his 8th), roughing up Ervin Santana.

But Nova gave back 4 runs in the 4th, tying the game. Mark Trumbo (him again) hit a home run, and Mike Trout (him again) doubled home 2. These 2 guys have been such pains in the ass, they should be playing for the Pesky Blue Jays of Toronto.

But in the top of the 6th, Raul Ibanez -- I swear, I don't know what the Phillies were thinking when they let him go -- hit a one-out triple, and Nick Swisher sacrifice-flied him home, for the final run of a 6-5 Yankee victory.

WP: Nova (6-2). SV: Rafael Soriano (6). LP: Hisanori Takahashi (0-2).

So the New York Yankees of The Bronx leave the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, and tonight begin a 3-game series in Michigan, against the Detroit Tigers of Foxtown. Then they come home to face the Tampa Bay Rays of St. Petersburg.

*

As for the New Jersey Devils of Newark, they lost Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals to the Los Angeles Kings of Los Angeles. In overtime.

Let me remind you that they lost Game 1 of their series against the Philadelphia Flyers of South Philadelphia -- also in overtime. And that they lost Game 1 of their series against the New York Rangers of Manhattan. And won both series.

Which means, even if they end up losing the Finals, it's still a great season. Imagine, beating both The Scum and The Filth in the Playoffs in the same season. That's never happened before.

Well, not for the Devils. Three teams have accomplished the feat of beating both the Rangers and the Flyers in the Playoffs in the same season: The 1971 Chicago Blackhawks of the West Side, the 1981 New York Islanders of Uniondale, and the 2008 Pittsburgh Penguins of Pittsburgh. All 3 teams ended up reaching the Finals -- but only the '81 Isles won the whole thing.

The joke isn't funny anymore? Sorry. This is Uncle Mike of Central Jersey, signing off.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

New York vs. Los Angeles in Playoffs

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals begins at 8:00 tonight, at the Prudential Center in Newark.

In the red corner: The New Jersey Devils, the 6th seed in the NHL Eastern Conference, having disposed of the Florida Panthers and the 2 teams they hate the most, the Philadelphia Flyers (a.k.a. The Filth) and the New York Rangers (a.k.a. The Scum).

Heroes thus far include 40-year-old goaltending legend Martin Brodeur; Travis Zajac, whose overtime goal won Game 6 vs. Panthers; Adam Henrique, whose double-overtime goal won Game 7 against the Panthers; Alexei Ponikarovsky, whose overtime goal won Game 3 against the Flyers; David Clarkson, whose 3rd period goal won Game 2 against The Scum; and, of course, Henrique again, whose overtime goal won Game 6 against The Scum, and is a serious challenger for the title of greatest Devils goal ever, along with John MacLean '88, Claude Lemieux '95 and Jason Arnott 2000.

The Devils, having started play as the Kansas City Scouts in 1974, and become the Colorado Rockies in 1976, moved to New Jersey, into the Brendan Byrne Arena (now the Izod Center) in the Meadowlands of East Rutherford in 1982, and into the Prudential in 2007. This is their 5th Stanley Cup Finals, and they will be going for their 4th Cup -- 4 in 30 years, as compared with the New York Islanders' 4 in 40 years (or, if you prefer, 4 in 4 but none in the other 36, including the last 29) and the Rangers' 4 in 86 (including a drought of 54 years and the current drought of 18).

In the black corner: The Los Angeles Kings, the 8th seed in the NHL Western Conference, who beat the Vancouver Canucks, St. Louis Blues and Phoenix Coyotes along the way. (Meaning neither team had home-ice advantage at any point, until the Devils do now, and both had to beat the 1 and 3 seeds.)

Heroes thus far include Anze Kopiar, Justin Williams and Dustin Brown, all of whom scored at least 22 goals in the regular season; former Flyers star Simon Gagne, a man used to driving the Devils nuts; goalie Jonathan Quick, who notched 10 shutouts in the regular season and 1 in the Playoffs thus far; Jarrett Stoll, whose overtime goal won the clinching Game 5 against the Canucks; and Dustin Penner, whose overtime goal won the clinching Game 5 against the Coyotes.

The Kings, having started play in 1967 at the Forum in the Los Angeles suburb of Inglewood, first wore purple and gold, to match the colors of their arena-mates, the Los Angeles Lakers. When Wayne Gretzky arrived in 1988, their colors were changed to silver and black to match another team then playing in L.A., football's Raiders. They switched back to purple and white, but now wear black again. In 1999, along with the NBA's Lakers and Clippers, they moved into the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles.

In spite of having some great players over the years, including Gretzky, his former Edmonton Oilers linemate Jari Kurri, and before that Hall-of-Famers Marcel Dionne and Rogie Vachon, the Kings have only been to the Stanley Cup Finals once before, in 1993, when they beat the Montreal Canadiens in Game 1, then dropped the next 4 straight, including the next 3 in overtime.

With both teams having pulled 3 upsets along the way, neither is going to be taken by surprise by the other. It's hard to say that these are the two best teams in the League. But it's easy to say that these are the two teams that have earned the right to be here.

*

A postseason game or series between teams from the New York and Los Angeles areas has been possible in the following rounds, and in the following eras:

Baseball: Yankees vs. Los Angeles Dodgers, from the 1958 World Series onward, and only in the WS; Yankees vs. the team currently known as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, from the 1969 American League Championship Series onward, and until 1995 only in the ALCS, but now also in the AL Division Series; Mets vs. Angels, from the 1962 WS onward, and only in the WS; and Mets vs. Dodgers, from the 1969 National League Championship Series onward, and until 1995 only in the NLCS, but now also in the NLDS.

Football: Giants vs. Los Angeles Rams, in the NFL Championship Game from 1946 to 1965, and in the NFL/NFC Playoffs from 1966 to 1994; Jets vs. Los Angeles Raiders, in the AFC Playoffs from 1982 to 1994; Giants vs. Raiders and Jets vs. Rams, in the Super Bowl only from the 1970 to the 1994 season.

Basketball, only in the NBA Finals: Knicks vs. Lakers, since 1961; Knicks or New Jersey (now Brooklyn) Nets vs. Los Angeles Clippers, since 1985 (although the Clippers never even won a Playoff series until this past month); New Jersey (now Brooklyn) Nets vs. Lakers, since 1977.

Hockey: Rangers vs. Kings, since 1968, but in rounds prior to the Finals only from 1971 to 1982; Islanders vs. Kings, since 1973, but in rounds prior to the Finals only until 1982; Devils vs. Kings, since 1983, but only in the Finals; Rangers, Islanders or Devils vs. Anaheim Ducks, since 1994, but only in the Finals.

I won't count New York Liberty vs. Los Angeles Sparks, or New York Cosmos vs. Los Angeles Aztecs, or New York Red Bulls vs. Los Angeles Galaxy.

*

Here's the list:

1963 World Series: Dodgers over Yankees
1970 NBA Finals: Knicks over Lakers (Willis Reed)
1972 NBA Finals: Lakers over Knicks (the Lakers' first title in L.A.)
1973 NBA Finals: Knicks over Lakers
1977 World Series: Yankees over Dodgers (Reggie Jackson goes boom, boom, boom)
1978 World Series: Yankees over Dodgers (Reggie gets hip)
1979 Stanley Cup Preliminary Round: Rangers over Kings
1980 Stanley Cup Preliminary Round: Islanders over Kings
1981 Stanley Cup Preliminary Round: Rangers over Kings
1981 World Series: Dodgers over Yankees
1982 American Football Conference Divisional Playoff: Jets over Raiders
1984 National Football Conference Wild Card Playoff: Giants over Rams
1988 National League Championship Series: Dodgers over Mets (Mike Scioscia)
1989 National Football Conference Divisional Playoff: Rams over Giants (Flipper Anderson)
2002 NBA Finals: Lakers over Nets
2002 American League Division Series: Angels over Yankees
2003 Stanley Cup Finals: Devils over Ducks
2005 American League Division Series: Angels over Yankees (Randy Johnson implodes)
2006 National League Division Series: Mets over Dodgers
2009 American League Championship Series: Yankees over Angels

Yankees: 3-4
Rangers: 2-0
Knicks: 2-1
Devils: 1-0 going into these Finals
Jets: 1-0
Islanders: 1-0
Mets: 1-1
Giants: 1-1
Nets: 0-1

Dodgers: 3-3
Angels: 2-1
Lakers: 2-2
Rams: 1-1
Raiders: 0-1
Ducks: 0-1
Kings: 0-3 going into these Finals
Clippers: 0-0

Baseball: Los Angeles leads, 5-4
Football: New York leads, 2-1
Basketball: Tied, 2-2
Hockey: New York leads, 4-0

Overall: New York leads, 12-8, but take out hockey and it's an 8-8 tie.

In Finals, New York leads, 5-4.

Let's go, Devils!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

How to Be a Yankee Fan In Detroit - 2012 Edition

Instead of the usual Seattle/Oakland/Anaheim Pacific Coast trip -- not necessarily in that order -- the Yankees' current roadtrip is Oakland/Anaheim/Detroit.

Disclaimer: While I have been to Detroit, and I did see a game at Tiger Stadium, it was not against the Yankees, and the Tigers' new home, Comerica Park, was then still under construction. I have no firsthand knowledge of what the ballpark is like. I have, however, been around Tiger fans, both at the old yard and in their visits to the old Yankee Stadium. So I have a pretty good idea of what the game experience will be like.

Before You Go. The Detroit Free Press website is suggesting that it will rain on Friday night; but, other than that, weather should not be a factor. This is the beginning of June, so Detroit's being in the Midwest snowbelt should not be a problem. Dress like you would for a Yankee home game.

Getting There. Detroit is 600 land miles from New York. Specifically, it is 616 miles from Times Square to Cadillac Square. Knowing this, your first reaction is going to be to fly out there.

Except... Wayne County Metropolitan Airport is 22 miles southwest of downtown. A taxi to downtown will set you back a bundle. There is a bus, SMART (Suburban Mobility Authority for Regional Transportation) bus Number 125, that goes directly from the airport to downtown, but it will take an hour and 20 minutes.

Also, do you remember the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza had a girlfriend, played by a pre-Will & Grace Megan Mullaly (using her real voice, you'd never recognize her as W&G's Karen), and he had to accompany her to a funeral in her hometown of Detroit? "It's kind of an expensive flight," George said.

This was not just George being his usual cheap self: At the time, 20 years ago, it was expensive, more expensive from New York to Detroit than it was to the further-away Chicago. It's actually cheaper now, but not by much: A check of airline websites shows that flights are going to be over $1,000 round-trip.

Too rich for your blood? The news gets worse: There is no good way to get to Detroit, and that's got nothing to do with the city's reputation for being a crumbling, crime-ridden place where even Batman would fear to tread.

I once saw a T-shirt that said, "I'm so bad, I vacation in Detroit." As I mentioned above... I have. And the legendary comedian Red Skelton once said, "In Detroit, you can go 10 miles and never leave the scene of the crime." Newark and Detroit had their race riots 2 weeks apart in July 1967. In May 1999, I saw Detroit, and I realized just how far back Newark had come, by seeing how far Detroit had not.

Train? Forget it. The only Amtrak route in and out of Detroit is to and from Chicago, which in the opposite direction. The Lake Shore Limited (formerly known as the Twentieth Century Limited when the old New York Central Railroad ran it from Grand Central Terminal to Chicago's LaSalle Street Station) leaves New York's Penn Station at 3:45 every afternoon, and arrives at Union Terminal in Toledo at 5:55 every morning. From there, you have to wait until 6:30 to get on a bus to Detroit's Amtrak station at 11 W. Baltimore Avenue, arriving at 7:35.

In reverse, the bus leaves Detroit at 9:25 PM, arrives in Toledo at 10:30, and then you have to hang around there until the Lake Shore Limited comes back at 3:20 AM, arriving back in New York at 6:35 PM. Total cost: $212. Cheaper than flying, but a tremendous inflammation in the posterior.

How about Greyhound? Yeah, ride a bus for 14 hours to Detroit, there's a great idea. Actually, having done it, I can tell you that it's not that bad. Seven Greyhound buses leave Port Authority every day with connections to Detroit. The best one is at 10:15 PM, and you'd change buses in Cleveland, arriving 6:50 AM and leaving 7:50, arriving at 11:20 AM at 1001 Howard Street. Compared to most of Detroit, the bus terminal is new and clean. It was just about within walking distance of Tiger Stadium, which really helped me in 1999. It's also not a long walk from Comerica Park, but I wouldn't recommend this. Better to take a cab, epsecially if you're getting a hotel.

The first bus to leave Detroit after the Sunday afternoon game is at 6:00 PM, and you won't have to change buses, arriving at Port Authority at 7:40 Monday morning. Round-trip fare: $182, although there are discounts for ordering online. So Greyhound is also far cheaper than flying, roughly the same cost as Amtrak, and less of a pain than Amtrak -- on this roadtrip, anyway.

If you decide to drive, the directions are rather simple, down to (literally) the last mile. You'll need to get into New Jersey, and take Interstate 80 West. You'll be on I-80 for the vast majority of the trip, through New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Ohio. In Ohio, in the western suburbs of Cleveland, I-80 will merge with Interstate 90. I point this out merely to help you avoid confusion, not because I-90 will become important -- though it will when I do "How to Be a Yankee Fan in Chicago."

In Ohio, you'll take I-80's Exit 64, and get onto Interstate 75 North. This will take you into Michigan. Take Exit 50 for Grand River Avenue. Follow the ramp to Woodward Avenue. Comerica Park's address is at 2100 Woodward Avenue, although it's bordered by Montcalm Street, Witherell Street, Adams Street and Brush Street. Across Brush Street is Ford Field, the home of the NFL's Detroit Lions.

If you do it right, you should spend about an hour and a half in New Jersey, 5 hours and 15 minutes in Pennsylvania, 3 hours in Ohio and an hour in Michigan. That’s 10 hours and 45 minutes. Counting rest stops, preferably halfway through Pennsylvania and in the Cleveland suburbs, and accounting for traffic in both New York and Detroit, it should be about 12 hours.

I strongly recommend finding a hotel with a good, secure parking garage, even if you're only staying for one game.

Tickets. The Tigers have usually been good since their 2006 Pennant season. In spite of this, due to how hard the Bush Recession hit Michigan, attendance has not been all that strong. But it is coming back: The Tigers averaged 32,618 fans per game last season, and are averaging 35,201 so far this season, in a ballpark that officially seats 41,782 (but can be boosted to over 45,000 with standing room).

You would think that, considering these factors, and the "majority-minority" status and poverty even in good times that has stricken Detroit, tickets would generally be affordable. They're not: Nearly every seat in the lower level is at least $47, and most run at either $47 or $60. Upper deck seats are mostly at the $30 level, and outfield bleachers can be had at $20 in left and $17 in right.

Going In. Detroit is a weird city in some ways. It often seems like a cross between a past that was once glorious but now impossible to reach, and a future that never quite happened. (That observation was once made about the remaining structures from New York’s 1964-65 World’s Fair and the Astrodome in Houston.) Art Deco structures of the 1920s and ‘30s, such as the Penobscot Building (the tallest building outside New York and Chicago when it opened in 1928, the tallest in Michigan until 1977) stand alongside abandoned, boarded-up or chained-up stores.

But alongside or across from them, there are glassy, modern structures such as the Renaissance Center, a 5-tower complex that includes, at its center, the 750-foot tallest building in Michigan (the tallest all-hotel skyscraper in the Western Hemisphere), and, in one of its 4 outer towers, the headquarters of General Motors (although the RenCen was originally financed by Ford).

Downtown also has the Detroit People Mover, a monorail system that is part of the suggestion of Detroit trying to get from 1928 to 2028 while jumping over the difficult years in between. Like the Washington and Montreal Metro (subway) systems, the company running it prides itself on the artwork in its stations. It has a stop called Times Square, but it won’t look anything like the one in New York. It has a stop called Bricktown, but it won’t look anything like Brick Township, the sprawling Jersey Shore suburb off Exits 88 to 91 on the Garden State Parkway. The Grand Circus Park Station is 2 blocks from Comerica Park. The DPM also has a stop at Joe Louis Arena, home of the Red Wings. It’s cheap, only 75 cents, and it still uses tokens, although it also accepts cash. Be advised, though, that it stops running at midnight, except on Fridays and Saturdays, when it runs until 2:00 AM.

The area around Comerica Park (named for a Midwest-based bank) and Ford Field (named for the automaker), at the northern edge of downtown Detroit, is called Foxtown, after the Fox Theater, which Tigers/Wings/Little Caesars owner Mike Ilitch also had restored. The ballpark can be entered at Gate A on Witherell (that’s the 1st base stands), Gate B at Witherell & Adams (right field corner), Gate C at Adams & Brush (left field corner), or Gate D on Montcalm (home plate).

There are a lot of distractions in the park, from the huge Tiger statues to the Comerica Carousel, near the Big Cat Food Court under the 1st base stands, to the Fly Ball Ferris Wheel, with baseball-shaped compartments, under the 3rd base stands. But, not being a kid, you’re interested in the baseball, so let’s move on.

The ballpark faces southeast, and some of Detroit’s taller buildings can be seen from behind the plate, including the RenCen and the Penobscot. Much of Detroit’s financial district, including the Penobscot, was built in the 1920s and ‘30s and, like many of New York’s buildings of the same period, were heavily influenced by the Art Deco movement. Some of these structures show just how much of a shame it is that Detroit has so badly fallen apart in the last 40 years.

Food. When I visited Tiger Stadium in its final season, 1999, it had great food, including the very best ballpark hot dog I've ever had. Since they're owned by Little Caesars Pizza mogul (and also Detroit Red Wings owner) Mike Ilitch, and before that were owned by Domino's Pizza boss Tom Monaghan, food is taken very seriously by the club. This is, after all, Big Ten Country, where college football tailgate parties are practically a sacrament.

Their big feature is the Big Cat Food Court, under the 1st base stands, featuring Little Caesars, naturally; Sliders, a stand featuring that Midwest staple, the Coney dog (hot dog with chili and onions, though they're not that popular at the actual Coney Island); the Brushfire Grill, with barbecue specialties; a stand selling "Chicago Style Hot Dogs," with the little pickle slice, the tomato slice, and the celery salt (and, no, I don't know why Detroit's ballpark would sell a Chicago-themed item); Asian Tiger, with Chinese food and sushi; a Mexican food stand; and "Lemons & Ears," which sells lemonade and "elephant ears," a Midwestern variation on that Middle Atlantic States standard, funnel cake.

The Tigers also have numerous in-park restaurants, but, like the ones at Yankee Stadium II, you can only get in with certain tickets. But if you go to a Detroit Tigers home game and you don't find something good to eat, you're not trying hard enough.

Team History Displays. The main concourse features a Walk of Fame, showing great moments in Detroit baseball history, from the 1887 National League Champion Detroit Wolverines, through the Ty Cobb Pennants of 1907-08-09, to the Hank Greenberg years of 1934-45, to the amazing 1968 "Year of the Tiger," to the "Bless You Boys" of 1984, and the 2006 Pennant.

Along the left-center-field wall are statues of the 5 Tiger players who have had their uniform numbers retired: 2, Charlie Gehringer, 2nd base, 1924-42; 5, Greenberg, 1st base, 1933-46; 6, Al Kaline, right field, 1953-74; 16, Hal Newhouser, pitcher, 1939-53; and 23, Willie Horton, left field, 1963-77 (and grew up in Detroit). There is also a statue of Cobb, center field, 1905-26, who played before uniform numbers were worn (though I once saw film of him at an old-timers' game, wearing a Tiger uniform, Number 25).

Not with those statues, but rather at the first base entrance, is one of the late Ernie Harwell, the broadcaster whose very voice meant "the Detroit Tigers" from 1960 to 2002. His name, and those of Cobb and the players whose numbers have been retired, are on a wall in left center field.

On a matching wall in right center field is a notation of 1979-95 manager Sparky Anderson, Number 11 retired, Hall-of-Famer; and the names of Tigers who, while their numbers have not been retired by the team, are, like the preceding (including Harwell, with Horton the lone exception) also in the Baseball Hall of Fame: Sam Crawford, right field, 1903-17; Hugh Jennings, manager, 1907-20; Harry Heilmann, right field, 1914–29; Henry "Heinie" Manush, left field, 1923–27; Gordon "Mickey" Cochrane, catcher 1934-37, manager 1934-38; and George Kell, 3rd base, 1946–52. Jackie Robinson's universally retired Number 42 is also with these names.

Like Harwell, Heilmann, Kell and Kaline also served as Tiger broadcasters. So did Ty Tyson, a non-player who was the first great Tiger announcer, but has not, like Harwell, received the Hall of Fame's Ford Frick Award for broadcasters. These walls, in left-center and right-center, serve as Detroit's answer to Yankee Stadium's Monument Park.

The Tigers have removed from circulation, but not officially retired, the following: Number 1, Lou Whitaker, second base, 1977-95; Number 3, worn by Cochrane, Dick McAuliffe (2nd base, 1960-73), and Alan Trammell (shortstop, 1977-96 and manager 2003-05); and Number 47, worn by Jack Morris, pitcher, 1977-90. Perhaps they're waiting for Whitaker, Trammell and Morris to be elected to the Hall of Fame, but they probably won't be elected, and they retired Horton's number without him getting in. (Number 23 was also worn by Kirk Gibson, right field, 1979-87 and 1993-95, but there's no mention of him on the wall.)

Stuff. The Tigers have 5 team stores located throughout the ballpark. Stuffed tigers are a natural to sell, and jerseys, jackets, T-shirts and caps abound. You can also buy DVDs of the official World Series highlight films of 1945, 1968 and 1984 (they come in 1 disc, with the 1935 edition preceding the start of official films sponsored by MLB which started in 1943) and "The Essential Games of the Detroit Tigers."

Unlike the "Essential Games" series for the old Yankee Stadium and Shea Stadium, instead of 6 games, there's only 4, and, due to the limitations on what Major League Baseball Productions has, they only go back to 1968, and, despite it not being "The Essential Games of Tiger Stadium," they still limit it to home games. Thus the 1984 clincher, Game 5 at Tiger Stadium, is included; 1968's Game 5 at Tiger Stadium, the only home game the Tigers won in that Series, is included; but the Game 7s of 1945 (at Wrigley Field) and 1968 (at Busch Stadium) are not. They do, however, include the Tiger Stadium finale in 1999 and Game 4 of the 2006 American League Championship Series, which was won by Magglio Ordonez hitting a walkoff homer to cap a series sweep. The Bonus Features include highlights from the 1971 All-Star Game (future Yankee Reggie Jackson hitting the Tiger Stadium roof off future Yankee Dock Ellis), the 1976 "Mark Fidrych Game" in which "the Bird" beat the Yankees on ABC Monday Night Baseball; the Comerica Park opener in 2000; a tribute to Trammell and Whitaker; a big moment from the career of Curtis Granderson, now a Yankee; and a brief Tiger Stadium retrospective.

During the Game. You do not have to worry about wearing Yankee gear in Comerica Park. Maybe if it was a Pistons game and you were wearing Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers or Boston Celtics stuff. Or if it was a Lions game and you were wearing Chicago Bears or Green Bay Packers stuff. Or if it was a Red Wings game and you were wearing Chicago Blackhawks or (due to their nasty late 1990s, early 2000s matchups) Colorado Avalanche stuff. But for a Tigers game, you can wear just about any opposing team's cap, jersey, jacket, whatever, and no one will give you a hard time based on that.

Unlike its predecessor, with its overhanging outfield upper deck, Comerica Park is a pitchers' park. Left field is 345 feet away, left-center is 370, center is 420, right-center is 365, and right is 330. These fences have already been brought in once, following complaints from Tiger players that it was too hard to hit there. Actually, the dimensions are not all that different from Tiger Stadium, but since there's no outfield upper deck, air can circulate better, and when the wind comes in off the Detroit River, it makes it tough to hit one out.

In the early 20th Century, most ballparks would have a strip of dirt between home plate and the pitcher's mound, known as a "keyhole." Comerica Park added this tough, and so did the home of the Arizona Diamondbacks, now known as Chase Field, as you'll see in this year's All-Star Game.

The Tigers' mascot is Paws the Tiger, and not only is he one of the less ridiculous mascots in the major leagues, but he's a better dancer than the Phillie Phanatic.

Whenever the Tigers score a run, the sound of a tiger growling is played through the public address system. It's a bit more intimidating than the really loud variation on the "Westminster chimes" that gets played at Yankee Stadium.

The Tigers do not have a regular song to play in the 7th inning stretch after "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." Nor do they have a regular ballgame-over song.

The Yankees inadvertently contributed to the Tigers' version of the Angels' "Rally Monkey." In a June 2006 Yanks-Tigers game at Comerica, Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson (not to be confused with former Knick Nate Robinson) was featured on FSN Detroit's "Sounds of the Game," in which the TV station puts a microphone on a coach, or a player not in the game. To get the fans going, Nate began to stuff Big League Chew into his mouth, hoping to spark a late-inning rally. The trend caught on, with Jeremy Bonderman, Zach Miner and Justin Verlander all chewing from time to time. The Tigers came back to tie the game, and the phrase "It's Gum Time" has become a new rallying cry for the team, along with 1968's "Sock It to 'em Tigers" and 1984's "Bless You, Boys."

After the Game. With Detroit's rough reputation, I would recommend not hanging around downtown after a night game. If you want a postgame drink or meal, you're better off sticking to your hotel.

The only bar I was able to find catering to Yankee Fans that is within 25 miles of downtown Detroit, and that one just barely, was a Ruby Tuesday restaurant in suburban Roseville. It's also been known to serve as the local headquarters for expatriate Giants and Jets fans.

Sidelights. Detroit is a great sports city, not just a great baseball city. Check out the following – but do it in daylight:

* Site of Tiger Stadium. The first ballpark on the site was called Bennett Park, after Charlie Bennett, a catcher for the NL’s Detroit Wolverines, who didn’t play there. Bennett Park opened in 1896, for the Detroit team in the Western League, which became the American League in 1901. However, the team we know as the Tigers (so named because the orange stripes on their socks evoked not just tigers but the teams at New Jersey’s Princeton University, also called the Tigers) are officially dated from 1901.

After the 1911 season, the wooden Bennett Park was demolished and replaced with a concrete and steel structure, opening on April 20, 1912 (the same day as Fenway Park in Boston) and named Navin Field, after Tiger owner Frank Navin. He died in 1935, and his co-owner, Walter Briggs, expanded the place to its more familiar configuration in 1938, renaming it Briggs Stadium. In 1961, new owner John Fetzer renamed it Tiger Stadium.

The Tigers played there from 1912 to 1999, and the NFL’s Lions did so from 1938 to 1974. The Tigers won the World Series while playing there in 1935, 1945, 1968 and 1984; the Lions won the NFL Championship while playing there in 1952, 1953 and 1957. (The ’52 Championship Game was played in Cleveland against the Browns, the ’53 and ’57 editions also against the Browns at Tiger Stadum.) Northwest corner of Michigan Avenue and Trumbull Street, 1 mile west of Cadillac Square down Michigan Avenue (U.S. Route 12). Number 29 bus.

* Joe Louis Arena. Opening in 1979, while the Alabama-born, Detroit-raised-and-trained heavyweight champion of the world from 1937 to 1948 was still alive, this 20,000-seat building was considered very modern at the time. There has been talk of a replacement for “The Joe,” but it doesn’t look likely that an agreement for one will be reached anytime soon. The Red Wings have come a long way from the building’s early days, when they were nicknamed the Dead Things, winning 4 Stanley Cups in 6 trips to the Finals between 1995 and 2009. It’s considered one of the loudest arenas in the NHL: Someone compared it to Chicago Stadium, the now-demolished home of their arch-rivals, the Chicago Blackhawks, and said that, if the visiting team scores 2 early goals, the Chicago fans quiet down, but Detroit fans stay loud throughout the game. 600 Civic Center Drive at Jefferson Avenue. It has its own station on the Detroit People Mover.

* Cobo Hall. This has been Detroit’s major convention center since its opening in 1960, and, following the rejection of a plan to demolish it and put a new Pistons-Red Wings arena on the site, it is about to undergo a renovation that will expand it. It includes a 12,000-seat arena that was home to the NBA’s Pistons from 1961 to 1978, and a convention complex that includes the city’s famed annual auto show. It is known for some legendary rock concerts, including the KISS album Alive! and area native Bob Seger’s Live Bullet. Unfortunately, it may be best known for the January 6, 1994 attack on Nancy Kerrigan during a practice session for the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. Next-door to Joe Louis Arena, using the same DPM station.

* Site of Olympia Stadium. From the outside, it looked more like a big brick movie theater, complete with the Art Deco marquee out front. But “The Old Red Barn” was home to the Red Wings from 1927 to 1979, during which time they won the Stanley Cup in 1936, ’37, ’43, ’50, ’52, ’54 and ’55. In 1950, they hosted Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, and Pete Babando’s overtime winner defeated the Rangers. In ’54, they had another overtime Game 7 winner, as “Tough Tony” Leswick hit a shot that deflected off Doug Harvey, the great defenseman of the Montreal Canadiens. (In hockey, the shooter is still credited; in soccer, this would have been an “own goal” on Harvey.)

The Olympia was also home to the Pistons from 1957 to 1961, and the site of some great prizefights, including Jake LaMotta’s 1942 win over Sugar Ray Robinson – the only fight Robinson would lose in his career until 1952, and the only one of the 6 fights he had with LaMotta that LaMotta won. It was the neighborhood, not the building, that was falling apart: Lincoln Cavalieri, its general manager in its last years, once said, "If an atom bomb landed, I'd want to be in Olympia." It was demolished in 1987, and the Olympia Armory, home of the Michigan National Guard, is now on the site. 5920 Grand River Avenue, corner of McGraw Street, on the Northwest Side. Number 21 bus. If you’re a hockey fan, by all means, visit – but do it in daylight.

* Silverdome. Originally Pontiac Metropolitan Stadium, this stadium was home to the Lions from 1975 to 2001 (after which they moved back downtown to Ford Field), and very nearly became home to the Tigers as well, before owner John Fetzer decided to commit himself to Tiger Stadium. Heisman-winning running backs Billy Sims and Barry Sanders ran wild for the Lions here, but the closest they got to a Super Bowl was reaching the NFC Championship Game in January 1992 – unless you count hosting Super Bowl XVI, 10 years earlier, the beginning of the San Francisco 49er dynasty led by Bill Walsh and Joe Montana. The Pistons, playing here from 1978 to 1988, had a little more luck, reaching the NBA Finals in their last year there. It seated 80,000 for football, set an NBA attendance record (since broken) of 61,983 between the Pistons and Boston Celtics in 1988, and 93,682 for a Papal Mass in 1987.

Without the Lions and Pistons, its future is unclear. It hosted a Don King-promoted boxing card in January 2011, and in August 2010 hosted a friendly between Italian soccer giant A.C. Milan and Greek club Panathinaikos – appropriate, considering the area’s ethnic makeup. A current rumor is that a group trying to get an MLS expansion franchise for Detroit will use it, or demolish it and build a new facility on the site. 1200 Featherstone Road, Pontiac. Getting there by public transportation is a pain: The Number 465 bus takes an hour and 25 minutes, and then you gotta walk a mile down Featherstone from Oakland Community College.

* The Palace. Home to the Pistons since 1988, they won the 1989, 1990 and 2004 NBA Championships here, and almost won another in 2005. The Detroit Shock have won 3 WNBA Championships here, and, as a result, every time a title is won by either the Pistons or the Shock, the address changes: Currently, it’s “Six Championship Drive, Auburn Hills, MI 48326.” Unfortunately, the 22,000-seat building’s best-known event isn’t a Pistons title or a rock concert, but the November 19, 2004 fight between the Pistons and the Indiana Pacers that spilled into the stands, becoming known as the Malice at the Palace. Even the WNBA had a rare brawl there, between the Shock and the Los Angeles Sparks in 2008. Lapeer Road and Harmon Road, Auburn Hills, off I-75. Don’t even think about trying to reach it by public transportation: You’d need 2 buses and a half-hour walk.

* Motown Historical Museum. As always, I’m going to include some non-sports items. Detroit is generally known for 3 good things: Sports, music and cars. The museum is the former Motown Records studio, which company founder Berry Gordy Jr. labeled “Hitsville, U.S.A.” His sister, Esther Gordy Edwards, now runs it, and it features records and costumes of performers such as the Supremes, the Temptations and the Four Tops. 2648 W. Grand Blvd., on the North Side. Number 16 bus.

* Henry Ford Museum. The centerpiece of the nation’s foremost automotive-themed museum is a replica of Independence Hall in Philadelphia. Henry Ford himself established the museum: “I am collecting the history of our people as written into things their hands made and used.... When we are through, we shall have reproduced American life as lived, and that, I think, is the best way of preserving at least a part of our history and tradition.”

It contains the fascinating, including early cars and bicycles, Henry Ford’s first car (his 1896 "Quadricycle"), Igor Sikorsky’s prototype for the helicopter, the bus Rosa Parks was riding in when she refused to give up her seat to start the 1955-56 Montgomery Bus Boycott, and a Buckminster Fuller “Dymaxion house.” It also contains the macabre, with the chair Abraham Lincoln was supposedly sitting in when he was assassinated at Ford’s Theater in Washington (the theater owner was no relation to Henry) and the chair John F. Kennedy was definitely sitting in when he was assassinated, in the Lincoln Continental convertible limousine he was riding in through downtown Dallas.

Next door to the museum is Greenfield Village, which Henry Ford imagined as a kind of historical park, a more modern version of Colonial Williamsburg – that is, celebrating what was, in 1929 when it opened, considered modern American life, including the reconstructed Menlo Park, New Jersey laboratory of his good friend Thomas Edison. Ford and Edison were both friends of rubber magnate Henry Firestone (whose tires certainly made Ford’s cars easier to make), and Firestone’s family farm is reconstructed on the site.

Please note that I am not excusing Henry Ford’s despicable anti-Semitism – and, to be fair, he did give his black auto workers the same pay and benefits as his white ones – but I am recommending the museum. It's a tribute to the role of technology, including the automobile, in American life, not to the man himself. Oakwood Blvd. and Village Road. Number 200 bus to Michigan Avenue and Oakwood Blvd., then a short walk down Oakwood.

* Greektown Historic District. Although Detroit is famed for its Irish (Corktown, including the site of Tiger Stadium) and Italian communities, and has the largest Arab-American community of any major city, its best-known ethnic neighborhoods are Greektown and the Polish community of Hamtramck. New York’s Astoria, Queens has nothing on Detroit’s Greektown, which not only has some of the country’s finest Greek restaurants, but also the Greektown Casino. 555 E. Lafayette Street, at Beaubien Street. Greektown Station on the People Mover.

* Hamtramck. Pronounced “Ham-TRAM-ick,” this city is actually completely surrounded by Detroit. When the Dodge Brothers (who later sold Dodge to Chrysler) opened an auto plant there in 1914, it became a hub for Polish immigration. However, the Polish population of the city has dropped from 90 percent in 1970 to 22 percent today. And Arabs and South Asians have moved in, making it Michigan’s most internationally diverse city. Nevertheless, if you want the best kielbasa, kapusta, golumpkis and paczkis this side of the Oder, this is the place to go. Hamtramck Town Shopping Center, Joseph Campau Street and Hewitt Street. Number 10 or 34 bus.

* Mariners’ Church. On my 1999 visit to Detroit, I discovered this church by accident, walking past it without realizing it was there until I saw the historical marker. Every March, it holds a Blessing of the Fleet for every person and ship going to see; every November, they hold a Great Lakes Memorial Service for those who have lost their lives at sea within the past year. This included the 29 men lost on the iron ore freighter SS Edmund Fitzgerald in Lake Superior, on November 10, 1975. Build and homeported in Detroit, the Big Fitz was commemorated in song by Gordon Lightfoot, whose song “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” called the church “The Maritime Sailors’ Cathedral.”

170 E. Jefferson Avenue, at Randolph Street. It’s right downtown, near the RenCen and Detroit’s City Hall, which includes the Spirit of Detroit statue and the giant arm and fist that represent Joe Louis. But be careful, because Randolph Street empties into the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel, to Windsor, Ontario, Canada. I’m not recommending that you bring your passport, unless you want to go across the river to the casinos of Windsor; but I am recommending that you be wary of tunnel traffic.

The University of Michigan is 41 miles west of downtown Detroit; Michigan State University, 86 miles northwest. If you’d like to visit either one, you might need Greyhound.

*

A visit to Detroit does not have to be a scary experience. These people love baseball. They don’t like the Yankees, but they love baseball, and their city should be able to show you a good time.

Yankees Were Coasting, But...

Strange weekend for me, for a few reasons. You only care about the sports reasons. I'll get to the Devils by the end of the day -- which is something the Ranger Scum couldn't do! -- but much to do first, including all 4 games that the Yankees played over Memorial Day Weekend.

They went out to the Pacific Coast, and took 3 straight from the Oakland Athletics, extending their winning streak to 5 games.

On Friday night, the Yankee bats, so quiet these first 2 months of the season, got the runs we needed: 3 in the 3rd, including the 6th home run of the year by Mark Teixeira, who has broken out of his awful start in a big way; and 3 in the 5th, due to Robinson Cano's 6th homer and Nick Swisher's 8th. Ivan Nova took this cushion and threw 7 strong, showing once again that he is ready to be a Number 2 starter behind CC Sabathia.

Yankees 6, A's 3. WP: Nova (5-2). SV: Rafael Soriano (4). LP: Trevor Ross (2-5).

*

On Saturday afternoon, the Yankees unloaded the lumber again, at the expense of one of last year's key Yankee cogs, Bartolo Colon. (GM Brian Cashman kept Freddie Garcia and let Colon go. Maybe it should have been the other way around.) They chipped away with single runs in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th, before scoring 3 in the 5th. The run in the 2nd was Cano's 7th homer, the one in the 4th was Teixeira's 7th.

The 5th began with a Chris Stewart single, then another by Derek Jeter. Curtis Granderson flew out to left, but that moved Stewart over to 3rd, and Alex Rodriguez got him home with a sacrifice fly. Then Cano doubled Jeter over, and Teix singled home Jeter and Cano. Teix added his 8th "Teix Message" of the season in the 9th.

Yankees 9, A's 9. WP: CC (6-2). LP: Colon (4-5).

*

On Sunday afternoon, the Yankees didn't hit much -- but it was enough, as Hiroki Kuroda was fantastic, winning on the road for the first time as a Yankee. He pitched 8 innings, allowing 4 hits, 1 walk, and no runs, earned or otherwise.

Andruw Jones hit his 5th homer of the season in the 2nd inning, and a Granderson single and a Teix double in the 7th provided a small cushion that held up.

Yankees 2, A's 0. Sounds like an old-time battle between Catfish Hunter of the A's and Fritz Peterson of the Yankees. Or maybe Catfish Hunter of the Yankees and Vida Blue of the A's. No, more like: WP: Kuroda (4-6). SV: Soriano (5). LP: Tommy Milone (6-4).

*

So the Yankees score 2 runs when 1 will suffice. So what happened last night, when they scored 8? It wasn't enough.

They moved on to Anaheim to play the Angels. (I'm too pissed off about the result to go through the full name, real or perceived, of the club.) The score was 4-3 Angels... after the 1st inning. Granderson tied it in the 2nd with his 15th homer. The Angels retook the lead, and were up 8-5 going into the top of the 7th.

Cano led off that inning with a double. Teix drew a walk, and Angel manager Mike Scioscia brought in Jason Isringhausen, the former "Generation K" starter with the Mets who got hurt, then revitalized his career as an A's and Cardinals reliever. Raul Ibanez greeted him with a short single that loaded the bases with nobody out.

Recent Yankee games would suggest that we'd blow this, with no runs being scored.

Not this time: Swish hit a sac fly to score Cano. Eric Chavez grounded out, moving the runners over to 2nd and 3rd. And Russell Martin, who needed a big hit and needed it badly, doubled home Teix and Ibanez. The game was tied, 8-8. And the go-ahead run was at 2nd, with the team's best hitter so far this season, Jeter, coming up.

But Jeter grounded out, stranding Martin. The Yanks went out 1-2-3 in the 8th. Teix singled to lead off the 9th, but Ibanez and Swish flew out. Chavez drew a walk, so it was men on 1st and 2nd -- the potential winning run on 2nd. Martin needed another big hit, and got one -- but it was only a single, and not one that was deep enough to score Teix. Jeter grounded into a forceout to end another threat.

Incredibly, Boone Logan had held the Angels off in relief of Phil Hughes (who didn't have it at all, after 3 good starts), Cody Eppley and David Phelps. But for the bottom of the 9th, Joe Girardi brought in Cory Wade, who pitched to Mark Trumbo.

And only Trumbo, who hit one out to end it. Angels 9, Yankees 8. WP: Jordan Walden (2-1). LP: Wade (0-1).

So much for coasting on the Coast.

*

So here's how things currently stand with the Bronx Bombers:

* The Yankees are 26-22, 2 1/2 games (2 in the loss column) behind the Baltimore Orioles and Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Eastern Division. Not bad at all, considering we're missing our sparkplug (Brett Gardner) and our top 2 closers (Mariano Rivera and David Robertson). The Toronto Blue Jays are 4 back, and the Boston Red Sox are 4 1/2 back (4 in the loss column).

* Jeter now has 3,156 career hits. He's now 15th on the all-time list, having passed Paul Waner and George Brett while in Oakland. He's 29 short of passing Cal Ripken for 14th. Having been close to .400 for a while, his batting average is now down to .335.

* A-Rod now has 2,824 career hits, 176 short of 3,000. He has 636 home runs, 24 short of Willie Mays at 660, 64 short of 700, 82 short of Babe Ruth at 714, 119 short of Hank Aaron at 755, and 128 short of Barry Bonds at 762.

* Robertson will probably be back on June 5, for the start of a home series against the Rays.

* The best-case scenario for Gardner's return appears to be June 7, the end of that series against the Rays.

The returns of both Robertson and Gardner will be big boosts. It's easy to believe the return of the closer would help, but hard to believe "the closer" is Robertson, not Mariano Rivera. And also hard to believe that Gardner, so often cited as the weak link in the Yankee lineup, was such a sparkplug and so badly missed. But they'll be back soon.

And the American League (and those unfortunate teams from the other league that got stuck with us in the Interleague schedule) will not like it at all.

Well, you know what? To hell with them. As we'd sing if the Yankees were an English soccer team, We are the Yankees and we are the best, we are the Yankees so fuck all the rest! Fuck 'em all!